My far-fetched dream is to become the sixth Spice girl. This is my back-up since my auditions for the Twerk Team didn't quite pan out. I would be a perfect fit for the Spice Girls. First of all, I'm tone-deaf. Secondly, I'm rhythmically challenged at times. But, that's all okay because I have loads of personality and have already come up with my stage name. You already know Sporty Spice, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, Ginger Spice and Posh Spice. Now welcome me, Awkward Spice. I'm that adorkable Spice Girl who you'll most likely laugh at when she trips in her platforms.
Speaking of awkward moments let's get right to it. Below are some everyday moments that I find to be hilariously awkward:
1. Tripping in public
It's public meaning that you can't fake like no one saw you kiss the ground. Right, Michelle?
I'm not a natural hugger, but I'll lay a half-hug on you if social circumstances require it. Please don't try to teach me how to hug (yes, people have tried). Just know that if I ever give you a full hug then you are truly loved.
3. Short Guys and Tall(er) Girls Coupling
You won't catch me walking around looking like someone's babysitter.
I think we're all in agreement here.
5. When someone openly calls you out for curving (rejecting) their romantic advances
That sounds like a personal problem. What's it have to do with me?
6. When you see someone eyeing the food you're eating
I would give you a piece, but you see the way my hunger is set up...
7. When you think you and the person you are talking to are about to split ways, but you realize you are headed in the same direction
Uh, you know what? I think I forgot something back there. You go ahead.
8. Trying to mind your business and not eavesdrop on nearby conversations
But, weren't we given two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much as we speak? That's in the bible, right?
9. When you realize someone is wearing the same [insert clothing, accessory] as you
Props to you for having good taste, but did you bring an alternate outfit or nah?
10. When you think you see someone you know, but turns out you're wrong
Go. Just go away.